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The Slacker Ideals

Death to overachievers

Death to math teachers

Abolishment of crazy math (eg Algebra 1+2, Geometry)

Ridicule all fruits and candy-asses.

Homer Simpson will become a god. Other Simpsons will be saints. (except Lisa, she is an overachiever)

Every other hour there will be silent contemplation (nap time)

School week will be 2 days long, and the weekend will be five days long.

Every month starting with a letter from A-M will be a holiday.

The following groups will be prohibited from joining the religion except if they are truly worthy slackers: the FRENCH, Canadians, FRENCH Canadians, people 13 and under, the Guamish, the FRENCH, all pigs, squares and all hedgehogs ... that is all.

The followin "stars" will be killed (or made fun of): David Hasselof, Pat Sajak, Paul Reiser, Hellen Hunt, Alex Trabek, Richard Simmons and Geraldo...that is all.

Tacos will be the food of the gods and will flow free to everyone.

All sermons will be seen at 5:30, 6:30, 11:00, on Fox.

There is no heaven, if you are a true slacker, everyday can be heaven.

All that go against the SLACKER religion and the all powerful Homer will die a horrible death.



The Slacker Motto

Procrastinate, *+%#$@$%^}, and Hibernate


Slacker Tree of Power

                                 God ------Homer
                                        |
                                        |
   The Saints- Bart, Nelson, Jimbo Jones (all other cool Simpsons except Lisa)
                                        |
                                        |
                         The High Council of Apostles- 
                        Apostle Josh [pIrish da Founder]
                        Apostle Matt [Mr. Pink]
                        Apostle Daigo [Swedish Square]
                        Apostle Rick [in need of an alias]
                        Apostle Mike [Ozzball G]
                        Apostle Jeremy [in need of an alias]
                                        |
                                        |
        The Martyr- Rolando the Martyr (he was a true slacker, and we'll miss him)
                                        |
                                        |
   The Monks- Monk Dan [Spankee], Monk Palo [the hitman], Monk Victor [Jocko]
Monk Goku, Monk Byron [Poohbear], Monk Todd [Mr.Potato Head], Monk Tommy [Brother T], 
Monk Frankie [Tokyo Vigilante #1], Monk Kate [Sluthouse], Monk Shortee [Pimptress]
Monk Carl [Dr.Buthlomew Sweezer,BTS,Ph.D. Friends call me Dr.Butt], Monk Dane [Homr],
Monk Stacey [Faye1152], Monk John [Fett], Monk Jeremy C [Termagant], Monk Jamie [Lizard Queen]
                                        |
                                        |
                                        |
                                        | 
         
   The Excomunicated-Monk Minh- went to the dark side...the all
powerful Homer ended his life...Minh died at his computer as he was enjoying
the Gay n Lesbian Room.
                                        | 
        The peons- Crack Monkey, Pimp Daddy, Guamish Peasent Girl