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Canada, oh Canada. . .

Canada is filled with Canadians!!!!!
 
The Canadians, they walk among us. . .
How well do we really know them, eh???
 
 *** Ten true facts that will chill your blood ***
Fact 1 Canada is filled with Canadians. 
Fact 2 Canada has placed itself right on top of the US,  isolating Alaska.
Fact 3 Cold fronts and storms originate over Canada.
Fact 4 All Canadians own dangerous hockey sticks as well as sharp ice skates.
Fact 5 Canadians freely cross over the border daily.
Fact 6 Canadian "scientists" have refined Zamboni technology to an art-form
Fact 7 Canadian Mounties ride horses and wear hats. . .red hats.
Fact 8 Alex Trebek and Michael J. Fox are both Canadians and are both on tv.
Fact 9 Half of America's Niagara Falls is located in Canada.
Fact 10 Canada's national anthem is longer than America's.
Fact 11 97% of all maple syrup consumed in America comes from Canada.
*** The above facts may not be true. ***
 

 

 What can I do?

Taking into consideration that the above facts are probably false, and were compiled by a raving lunatic, the wisest thing to do now is to panic. Try and give into mob mentality, and let your hate and fear of Canadians fester.

Consider purchasing firearms and other weapons that could kill and/or maim yourself and those you love.

The Canadians are all around us, trust no one.  After gathering a band of drunken hooligans, go door to door searching for Canadians.  If your neighbors deny their Canadian roots, a heavy sack beating will make them tell the truth.

Any other anti-social and down-right nutty behavior will help stop the Canadian Menace. Watch the movie Canadian Bacon for more information on anti-Canadian activities.

Whatever you do, remember this is not a time to think, it is a time to act.  Rash decisions are what made our country great and this no time to bring shame upon America.

If the Canadians aren't stopped, think of the consequences. . .saluting the maple leaf, clean cities, being polite day and night, maple syrup on everything, and winter 11 months of the year.

 

Canada attacks!!!
 

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